Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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