How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need water and some morals
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
