so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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