Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
