it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
