school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
