You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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