I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
