Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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