hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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