you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
