I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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