Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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