she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
