In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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