Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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