"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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