Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
