Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
