oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
