im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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