i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We smell like vodka and hangover
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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