she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm too high and old for this...
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