Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
