He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
