I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize