Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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