She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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