like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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