Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
