my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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