That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
