Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
