I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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