grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
