my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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