Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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