Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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