some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
