Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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