i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
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We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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