I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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