my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
