Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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