Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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