I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
