don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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