peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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