dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
