wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
