My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
