I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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