Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
