Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize