You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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