he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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