Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
