when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
