Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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