Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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