Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
