I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
