I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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