Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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