Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
