Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
