At least make sure they are 18
Why
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize