What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize