I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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